On Teething

Portia aka Fangs,

I didn’t know when and where it happened but somewhere between the time I gave birth to you and now, you transformed yourself into a vampire. And I have the bruises on my arms, shoulders and legs to prove it. Aren’t your rattles enough?How about those teethers we have strewn all over the place? I’m flattered that you find me so palatable but seriously, do you have to bite into me like I’m Chickenjoy every minute or so? And then you go ahead and laugh it off like it’s the biggest joke in the world.

Now I’m wondering whether that burst of happiness when I discovered your first tooth (that was on January 7,2010, just for the record) was a disillusionment. I certainly didn’t picture out being an edible entity back then. But then I didn’t picture out you to have so many teeth growing out of your gums eight at a time like bamboo stalks, which is exactly what they’re doing now. Your fangs are out, so are your canines, and your molars are out as well. Please be gentle with me. Everytime your mouth comes remotely close to my shoulders, I feel a sharp tingle in my stomach and brace myself for the impact that’s sure to come complete with drool.

Figures. Your Ama once shared to me how I used to bite your Uncle like mad when I was young too. He never complained. But then I’m not your uncle. I shout like a banshee which begets curious stares from passersby. If they only knew who was abusing who. Compared to your 10, I was a steady 6 in the biting category.

On a happy note, you and Goober have a great thing in common now, your profound ability to make even the most inanimate objects yelp and groan. Good job.

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